Parentin’ in my Hood Today

My baby is almost two.

I would deny it and continue to pretend he’s just a “baby” but lately he’s been acting like a demon two.

I’ve had two year olds before… I’m not sure if they are just making them more {crazy hyper into-things curious naughty} nowadays or what, but Y’ALL. Two might just turn my whole head gray this go ’round.

Let me give you a little run down of Doodlebug’s day:

8:30am We take Lady and Stink to their new school orientation. Doodle fusses to be released from his prison stroller and commences to run up and down and up and down the cement steps (falling twice). Then he sees some bigger kids (unwisely) sliding down a ramp on their feet and attempts to follow suit. He is grabbed just before busting his head wide open.

9:15am I go in Stinkbug’s classroom and try to listen to his teacher welcome the class/explain the supply list/calm the anxious mothers. Doodlebug’s activity in the classroom can be better summed up in art:

9:42am After trying to climb up the slide the wrong way on the playground and almost being slid over by a big kid, I wrestle Doodlebug into the stroller. (Read: wrestle. It is a full-on body effort using my elbow to fold his mid-section so he bends enough for me to buckle him in.)

10:02am I stop by the grocery to pick up a few things for dinner. Doodlebug SCREAMS through the entire store. He removes both his shoes and throws them at innocent bystanders (Ladybug, Stinkbug and me) and creates enough racket that store employees start grabbing my items to help me move more quickly out of the store. He is literally foaming at the mouth at this point. I start to wonder if it’s rabies.

10:13am Walking home and Doodle is STILL SCREAMING. I pass an old lady who stares at him and then asks, “Why is he screaming?” I don’t stop to chit chat.

10:23am After amazingly enough making it home with all my groceries and kids, I speak with Doodlebug about the ridiculousness of his behavior and leave him in his room in time out to calm down. I hear him rolling around and screaming on the floor. I turn my attention to Pinterest to wait him out.

11:01am I realize it’s quiet. This is not good in the Land of Two.

11:02am I find this:

 

 

12:20pm Doodlebug casually rolls up in the kitchen where I am making lunch as if nothing happened earlier in the day. Hmph.

1:35pm We are school supply shopping for the older two. Doodle is riding quietly in his stroller. (Did I mention quiet is NOT A GOOD THING?!) I realize he has pulled a marker off a low shelf and covered his arms and his beloved blanket with graffiti. He looks pleased with himself. Maybe he’ll be an artist?

2:55pm I find Doodlebug under the dining room table disassembling a fabric-covered bulletin board I made earlier in the day. His hands are full of thumb tacks. Niiice.

4:30pm Temper tantrum while Hubby’s on duty. Rolls under bed during tantrum. Hubby captures the moment forever. We are such good parents.

6:53pm Dinner is over but the table has not been cleaned off. I am helping the older kids with something in the living room when my radar goes off (Doodle was being too quiet…again) I find him in the kitchen, pouring leftover soup and milk between assorted bowls and cups left from dinner. Maybe he will be a chemist?

6:57pm I find Doodle in the bathroom with my makeup bag open and my powder brush out and soaking wet. I seriously hope it’s wet from the sink and not the toilet. I put Doodlebug at the table with his siblings to play with play dough.

7:13pm I answer the phone and chat with my friend for a few minutes about our days, Hubby comes home from a errand and I hear, “Unsupervised play dough?! Really???” I laugh realizing what a mess Doodlebug must be, but I’ll let Hubby deal with him this time!

7:47pm Getting the kids ready for bed, we find play dough crusted on Doodlebug’s face. Cool.

8:07pm The almost-two-year-old is in bed. We need to put the house back together and fortify it. Who knows what tomorrow will bring…

 

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4 thoughts on “Parentin’ in my Hood Today

  1. Oh, I remember those days–the days of two (although for mine it appears to be extending on into almost 5)! It’s not that they’re making the two-year olds more crazy hyper into-things curious naughty these days, it’s that you’re already stretched thin caring for 2 other bugs so you’re not able to be as on top of two as you were before. Thanks for making me laugh 🙂

  2. i find a great deal of comfort in reading about your crazy day… and am thankful for it! 🙂 this is your 3rd go around with a Two… which makes me feel a little more normal. love you!

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