My Baby Girl is Six Today

Dear Ladybug,

Happy Mother's Day+ Two Days

What in the world…?! I can hardly fathom that you were placed in my arms six years ago today! I have so much I want to tell you, so much my heart wants you to know.

I want to tell you how beautiful you are. You have your own sense of style that just knocks me out. I miss picking your clothes out for you, but I love watching you try out your own combinations of outfits, rock cowboy boots with everything, add jewelry and accessories as you see fit. I love it. Keep rocking it girl, don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t have style.

witholivia

I want you to know I know how smart you are. I have been amazed as I’ve heard the vocabulary you’ve chosen to use sometimes! Your diligent persistence at reading this year has paid off and you’re doing amazingly! I love hearing you talk about and explain the world to your brothers and your knowledge about spiritual things is stunning. You have a big beautiful brain and you’re doing a great job exercising it, stretching it, and learning all you can about the world– you go girl!

It's only cosmetic...I love your sensitive heart. You sense needs in others that I’m not sure they realize themselves. I appreciate your willingness to help and serve.

I adore your smile, your laugh, your quickness to make a joke.

I think you are an awesome friend. You are fiercely loyal and very generous with those you hold dear.

I love that you love our family. You enjoy every moment with your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousin. You are quick to point out how lovely it is to all be together. You love game nights, movie nights, hiking and all sorts of adventures with your dad, your brothers and me.

There are so many things I cherish about you, Ladybug. Thanks for being my daughter, myDSC_0133 sweet first gift from the Lord.

Love always and forever,

Mommy

But I am like a green olive tree
    in the house of God.
I trust in the steadfast love of God
    forever and ever. (Psalm 52:8)

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On Due Dates and Growing Up

Dearest Ladybug,

IMG_0434Today was your “due date” six years ago. (Let’s all notice that your sixth birthday is not for 13 more days making me a very uncomfortable, impatient lady six years ago…) As I reflect on the past six years I am blown away by how much you have changed. And how much I have changed as well.

Two days ago you got your ears pierced and as I watched you pinch your face up in IMG_1612anticipation of the moment, my heart ached. You looked so big and yet so small in that chair all by yourself. My eyes leaked a little (maybe it was slightly more than a little) because I was so proud and so sad all at once.

Motherhood is this whole big jumble of juxtaposition. I love having babies, and I want them to transition well to full-sized humanhood, but then I miss holding my sweet milk-breathed, soft skinned, fuzzy-headed, smelling-like-baby-wash little ones. I want you to grow up well and I’m so proud when you do things like write your name, share with your brothers without being asked, and graduate from Kindergarten. But then my heart breaks a little because it’s all too fast, too quick, too much without warning.

IMG_0617I’ll go ahead and apologize for crying in public in Claire’s. I’m sorry, sweet girl, if that embarrassed you. And here’s a few more since I’m sure it won’t be the last time: I’m sorry I can’t control these emotions sometimes about your growing up and getting big, I’m sorry I’ll probably cry again next time you reach some milestone, I’m sorry I can’t keep my junk together and keep my tears inside. Motherhood is just like that. It wrecks me. In such a good, beautiful way.

Maybe one day you’ll have a little red-headed girl who’ll pick out her own clothes, start wearing lip gloss and painting her nails, and pick out her own earrings for getting her ears done, and you’ll know why I cried. Because you’ll reach up and feel tears wet on your own smiling cheeks.

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The Big Sister

We’ve had some dramatic outbursts with Ladybug around here lately as we talk and pray about Little Sister coming via adoption. Today she cried about us loving her less when her new sister comes. We calmly tried to explain that as mommies and daddies our love grows with each new child God adds to our family, and our love for her won’t change. She wept as she told her daddy, “But your love for me will have to move over in your heart to make room for her.”

After some time alone in her room crying and talking to herself (not so quietly), she came out with some scribbles on a yellow legal page and asked if she could read me what she “wrote”. Of course, Ladybug!

Dear Little Sister,

Please feel welcome into our family. Please feel welcome and comfortable.

Love,

Your Dramatic Sister

 

{1000 gifts}

31. Daddy taking the big kids out for “special daddy time”

32. being alone with the baby (who hardly ever gets “alone time”)

33. iced coffee in the middle of the morning

34. hot showers

35. the feeling of Q-tips cleaning my ears

36. anticipating a visit from dear friends

37. lifting voices in songs of praise as one body

38. sharing a meal with brothers and sisters

39. milk chocolate

40. getting mail/messages just because

41. picking out the perfect gift, and wrapping it up

42. sitting on the balcony drinking tea with my love talking about nothing and everything

43. being adopted into the biggest, most wonderful family by the Biggest, Most Wonderful Dad

44. “water from the wells of salvation”

3 With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation. 4 And you will say in that day:

    “Give thanks to the LORD,
   call upon his name,
make known his deeds among the peoples,
   proclaim that his name is exalted. 5 “Sing praises to the LORD, for he has done gloriously;
   let this be made known in all the earth. {Isaiah 12}