Birth Stories in Haiku

Ladybug ~ June 29, 2007

Nervous first time mom

Labor induced feeling scared

Nine pound baby girl 

Doodlebug ~ November 14, 2008

Very cold O.R.

Tugging– baby boy is born!

Yellow fuzzy hair

Stinkbug ~ October 7, 2012

Water breaks early

The nearness of God feels good

Precious dark-haired boy

Lovebug ~ Coming Soon!

Waiting is so hard

Wondering who, where you are

Praying you come soon

I saw this idea today– birth stories in Haiku (via Making Home via Conversion Diary) and I love writing Haiku poetry, so I thought I’d give it a whirl. Can you Haiku?

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Is Birth Your Idol?

I have shared my birth experiences (in probably more detail than most people care to read!), so you already know I’m a C-section mama x 3. I have had to work through some undesirable emotions and feelings of guilt over the years about the ways my babies entered the world. I read this great article today by Gloria Furman about birth experiences being idols for some a lot of women. It really struck a chord with me, so I wanted to pass it along in case there is someone out there who also needs to be reminded that knowing Christ, and being good mommies after birth ultimately outweighs the way our birth experiences turn out!

http://blog.christianitytoday.com/women/2012/07/bowing-down-to-your-birthing-b.html

One Last Bug Birth

I posted Lady and Stink’s birth stories last year, and in honor of Doodle’s first birthday (OHMYWORDHOWISTHATPOSSIBLE?), here is the story of how Doodlebug arrived.

Since my first two kids were born by C-section, another C-section was scheduled for me for October 11, 2010 at 39 weeks.  During Doodle’s pregnancy, I just had this feeling that my water was going to break, and I was going to have an “early” baby, but I was trying not to get my hopes up about getting out of the last few weeks of misery pregnancy.
All day the Wednesday before my scheduled date, I felt crampy and experienced contractions.  Nothing too major, but it was enough to make me wonder what was going on with my body.  Having never gone into labor on my own, I wasn’t sure what to think.  In the afternoon, the contractions stopped, and I figured it had all been another bout of Braxton Hicks. 
That evening, Hubby and I were watching a movie and took a break to make some caramel popcorn.  (Yum!)  I went to the bathroom and noticed I was leaking a little, but honestly I thought I was suffering from a weak bladder—I have had three kids in just over three years!  I mentioned it to Hubby, but told him I wasn’t concerned, and would just keep an eye on it.  I didn’t notice anything else unusual that night, so we went to bed and I slept SO well!  Seriously, when I opened my eyes and realized I had slept soundly for more than six hours, my thought was I am probably going to have a baby today and that will be my last good night’s sleep for awhile!
Thursday morning was pretty normal.  Ladybug went to preschool, I fed Stinkbug and myself breakfast and got us both dressed and ready for the day.  I started putting away and organizing the kids’ clothes since fall had arrived with cooler weather (Praise the Lord!  Pregnancy during the summer is awful!) 
At some point in the morning, I noticed the same wetness in my underwear, and debated back and forth about whether I should keep writing it off as nothing, or tell Hubby that he needed to come home so we could go to the doctor to have it checked out.  (At the end of my pregnancy with Lady I thought I may be leaking amniotic fluid, so we went in and it ended up being nothing, so in the back of my mind I was thinking it would be nothing this time too.)
Around noon I got lunch ready for us, and about twenty until one, I started pulling out the stroller and getting ready to walk to Lady’s school to pick her up.  All of the sudden, the stroller collapses when Stink tries to crawl up into it.  I hear the clink of metal and a screw and a plastic piece are laying on the floor underneath the stroller.  I have NO clue what happened, but my stroller is now useless and I have to pick my daughter up from preschool in twenty minutes.  Lady’s school is a ten-ish minute walk from our house, and we have to cross a busy street.  I wasn’t sure I could make it there and back with Stinkbug and Ladybug having to walk, so I panicked a little.  I called Hubby and told him I was still leaking something and the stroller was broken and I wasn’t sure how I was going to get our daughter from school. (There were probably a few tears involved in this conversation.)

I knocked on a neighbor’s door to see if they would watch Stinkbug for a few minutes while I went to get Ladybug, but no one was home.  I called my friend, Suz, who has a car, and explained what was going on and asked if she would come and get me and drive me to pick Ladybug up. 
As I was hanging up the phone with Suz (we had walked outside at this point), I glanced up just in time to see Stinkbug, who had run ahead of me to the front gate, run through the front gate and towards the busy street in front of our building!  My heart stopped beating and I screamed Stinkbug’s name.  Thankfully, we have worked hard to train our kids to obey right away and he turned around and came right back to me.  I scooped him up and started weeping.  I have never felt like that in all my life.  I absolutely, totally, completely lost it. I felt so emotional and out-of-control of every aspect of my life at that moment.  I remember thinking Watch me have a baby today when everything feels so out of my control…
Suz came and took us to Lady’s school and I asked her to call my doctor for me to explain what was happening since her language is better than mine (who am I kidding, at this point in my day, I could hardly speak English, forget trying to explain something in the local language).  The receptionist told her that I should come on in, so Hubby came home from class, we laid the kids down for a nap (Suz graciously agreed to sit at the house with the kids) and headed to the doctor’s office.  I told Suz as we were leaving that we would probably be right back because it was nothing, and I thought it was silly that Hubby wanted to put our hospital bags in the car with us.
At the doctor’s office, they collected and tested the fluid, and declared it was amniotic fluid.  A quick ultrasound showed that my water had broken and fluid was missing from around Doodlebug.  My doctor patted my hand and said, “Your baby is coming today.”  I felt out-of-control again.  I hadn’t finished putting the kids’ fall clothes away and they were in a pile on the floor.  I hadn’t prepared anything for dinner for the kids.  I didn’t even hug and kiss them extra hard when we left.  I wasn’t prepared to have a baby today!
The doctor told us to meet him at the hospital, so off we went.  Once there Hubby disappeared to fill out some forms and pay, and I was taken to a room where the poking and prodding and questioning began.  Except they were asking me questions in the local language.  And my brain was not recalling very much of the local language.  I had been told there were English speakers working a the hospital—if there were, they stayed out of sight.  

One of the nurses wanted to know my height in meters, and I told her I didn’t know it in meters and all the nurses in the room exchanged a look and a giggle.  I felt very vulnerable and alone.  Luckily Hubby appeared in the room with me pretty quickly.
We asked about Hubs coming into the OR with me and were told no.  I started crying (really I couldn’t help it at this point, my emotions were so up and down from the whole day’s events!) and I think the nurses had some pity on me when they saw my tears, and started treating me a little more gently.
I was changed and put onto a bed and kissed by Hubby and wheeled to the elevator and taken downstairs to the OR.  The OR had a funny smell, and one guy working in there had an even funnier smell.  He was supposed to hold me still while they inserted the epidural and it was not pleasant.
The only verses that I could conjure to mind were part of Psalm 23 (I had just read it a few days prior) and Psalm 73:28 The nearness of God is my good. I kept repeating those verses to myself and pleaded with the Lord to remind me of His presence.
I felt very out-of-control of everything around me (are you sensing a trend in my day?!) and as they had me lie on my back I was having trouble getting a good, deep breath.  Someone noticed, and they slipped an oxygen mask on me.  As I started breathing freely, a sense of peace washed over me.  It was like God whispered in my ear I’m here, My nearness is your good.  Don’t worry, child.
At some point a sweet nurse who knew a little English started whispering to me about what was happening… Her name was Meleck, which means “angel” in the local language—how true her name was!  I felt such a comfort from hearing her voice and reassuring words.  After Doodlebug was born she even brought him right over to me and shooed the other nurses away saying, “His mother needs to be the first to kiss him.”
Doodlebug was born at 4:43pm on October 7, 2010.  He weighed 8 pounds 3 ounces and 19 2/3 inches long.
Really everything felt OK after the oxygen was flowing to me from the mask and God’s presence felt so real and near.
Doodlebug was wheeled upstairs to his daddy who was waiting in my room.  The doctors finished working on me and I was wheeled back upstairs too.
Doodlebug’s birthday was a true test in relying on the Lord’s strength and not my own, or my husband’s.  I had no control over most of the things that went on that day, and I had to face the C-section without Hubs (or anyone I even knew for that matter) by my side.  God proved Himself faithful, however, and was beside me the entire day.

I am so thankful for the experience of having Doodlebug overseas. It was scary and overwhelming at points, but the Lord was so kind and gracious to me through it all.


Happy 1st Birthday, sweet Doodlebug!

Postpartum Lesson

I had a baby three and a half months ago, so that puts me in the “postpartum” phase of life.  I’ve never struggled with postpartum depression, but boy oh boy am I struggling with postpartum hair loss these days.

I shed almost enough for another human every day.  Seriously, my bath tub drain looks like I lost a fight with a hair-pulling high school girl every morning.  I find hair on my pillow when I wake up, hair on the couch when I stand up, and I have to clean out my brush every day because… well, you get the picture.

Hubby and I have agreed it’s amazing I still have hair on my head at all.

The other day as I was cleaning out the bathtub drain (again), and fuming about the hormonal imbalances that will certainly, eventually lead to total baldness, I remembered a funny little Scripture:

And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. (Matthew 10:30)

I just had to smile.  You see, the Bible says there are a number to the hair atop my head, and the Lord holds that number in His infinite sea of wisdom.  He knows.  That may not even strike you as such a great thing for Him to know about you, but my friend, I’m losing hundreds, possibly thousands of hairs every week, and each time ONE HAIR falls out, it doesn’t do so without the Lord knowing.

Sheila has 3,478,213,459,213 hairs. Now, she has 3,478,213,459,212 hairs. Oh, there goes another one–3,478,213,459,211 hairs. 3,478,213,459,210 hairs.

He knows every one of them.  That’s how valuable I am to my Heavenly Father.  So as much as losing my hair chunks at a time stinks these days, I am so grateful for the God who knows me in such a deep, personal, detailed way.  A God who cares about my hair more than I even do.

Doodlebug’s Debut

Doodlebug was born October 7, 2010 at 4:43pm.  He weighed 8 pounds 2 ounces and was almost 20 inches long.  He was earlier than expected (my C-section was scheduled for October 11), but we were so glad to meet him early!  We should get home tonight and hopefully I can fill you in on the details of birthday soon!

What they didn’t tell me…

…when I got pregnant. (And then got pregnant again.  And again.)

  • You can’t just go buy maternity clothes when your belly pops, and expect it to be as easy as that.  There are actually “stages” of clothes that you will need to make it until birthday.  The first stage being I-can’t-button-my-normal-pants.  Moving right along you have the Look-I-have-a-belly-isn’t-it-cute? maternity stage.  Followed by the It-is-getting-tough-to-pull-any-pants-over-my-hips-and-thighs-why-did-I-drink-that-milkshake? stage.  And soonly you arrive at the I-will-wear-these-sweatpants-in-protest-until-this-baby-exits-my-body-or-I-die-because-this-sucks stage.  Don’t spend all your budget on the first stage, you’ll wish you had some clothes that fit later.
  • Indigestion, insomnia, hemorrhoids, cankles, squished and shifted organs, not being able to shave your own legs or paint your own toenails…
  • Remember when you thought you were fat back in high school and college?  You’ll spend the rest of your post-baby life wishing you looked like that again.  And wondering why in the world you thought you were fat.
  • You won’t feel any smarter or better at mommy-ing the second (or third) time around.  There’s always something new to throw you for a loop.  And not only are you doing the newborn thing again, your first (and second) child(ren) is still growing/changing/experiencing new stages.  It becomes this awesome, confusing, uncontrollable circus juggling act and you’re the one who’s supposed to keep all the balls… I mean… kids, up in the air doing their thing.
  • A gracious, loving Heavenly Father is waiting to guide you through every twist and turn.  Your children are safe in His arms because He loves them even more than you do.  He is patient, kind, loving, forgiving, merciful, and tender.  He gives only good gifts.  And He’s always there…
Ladybug {3 years} & Stinkbug {22 months}

Doodlebug {36 weeks}