31 Days of Letters

Well, it’s that time of year again! A whole bunch of bloggers are stretching their fingers and getting ready to blog for the whole month of October! Are you participating this year?

I am currently working on a special writing project in all my spare time (BAHAHAHAHAHA, I just can’t say that with a straight face… so.much.to.do.all.the.time.) and so I’ve gone back and forth about participating in 31 Days this go ’round. I have a soft spot for it though, since writing Soul Coffee last year launched me into publishing my first book– SQUEE. I am still not over the fact that MY BOOK is on the INTERWEBS for people to BUY which feels kinda LEGIT.

So… special project notwithstanding, I thought spending some time with the figurative pen to paper (fingers to keyboard just doesn’t sound as cool), would help me stay in a writing groove this month and hopefully even clear some cobwebs I’m experiencing in my writing right now.

I really have no clue what I want to write, but my sister (Hi Em!) does this cute feature on her blog sometimes that she calls “Letters”, so I’m kinda borrowing her idea and spending the month writing letters. They may be sappy messages to my kids, or random thoughts to the lady behind me in the grocery store, or complaints to the trees in my city for not changing their colors. I’m gonna play it fast and loose, mmk?

Will you join me this October as I write

31days2014

Feeling Shy

I think I dreamed about blogging last night. Well, that and drinking a ginormous sweet tea from McAllister’s Deli and eating an order of chips and salsa solo. I know, my dreams are pure glam y’all.

I write, it’s what I do. I scribble prayers and words to help me process, I string sentences to express my heart. I just have been doing that in journals and scrap papers and Word docs and haven’t made the time to do that here lately. And I kinda miss it.

The internet (Internet? Does it need a capital?) has certainly changed our lives. Blogging was such a comfort to me as a new mommy in 2008 when I started Momfessions and reached out into the depths of the Web to find comfort and camaraderie. Nowadays blogs have seemingly been replaced with the faster paced tempo of Facebook and Instagram and who knows what else (apparently not I.)

I don’t want to generate a six figure income here. I don’t really want to do reviews or link you to products or pretend I have it enough together to start a blog feature. I don’t even want to go to blogging conferences and pretend I know what’s going on. I just want to come back to my space, and I don’t know why I feel so shy about that.

I cleaned up some, but I am still working on clearing debris from the archives and tidying up the place, but by all means grab a latte or an entire bag of M&Ms and make yourself at home.

This is my blog. And I like to write here.

 

Free-Write Friday {5}

I feel my voice raising and it seems I am outside my own body as I watch me yell at my kids…

I weep over spilled salsa on the freshly mopped kitchen floor and the stress and frustration of a hard week pour from my eyes…

I feel biting words leaving my mouth directed at my best friend and husband, and wonder why I chose to speak at all…

I feel like Eustache, the boy-turned-dragon, (a figment of CS Lewis’ divinely creative imagination) a disgusting creature with need for change

I yearn for the holy claws to peel off my nasty scales and make me whole again

“Then the lion said – but I don’t know if it spoke – You will have to let me undress you. I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

“The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know – if you’ve ever picked the scab off a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away.”

“Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off …and there it was lying on the grass…. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me – I didn’t like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I’d no skin on – and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I’d turned into a boy again.”

{The Voyage of the Dawn Treader}

Free-Write Friday {4}

My payment as a mother doesn’t come in a check. There’s nothing to deposit in the bank at the end of the week.

Sloppy kisses as I tuck my son into his bed. Milk-mustached smiles from a baby as he finishes nursing. Freshly picked dandelions given with the admonishment to put them in some water, so you can keep them forever

These are the moments that compensate me for long hours, constant demands, and no sick days.

A freshly-bathed baby wanting to snuggle up before bed, a sick darling who only wants mama’s care to make her feel better, a precious masterpiece of squiggles and swirls drawn especially for me.

These are things you can’t hang a price tag on.

The days are so long sometimes, the tasks so mundane. The thanks so little. But when I stop to appreciate the small joys of motherhood set before me every day, I am so thankful that God made me a mom. Truly, there is no higher calling in life.